The texts stopped abruptly
No more good mornings and
tears and anxiety replace the dopamine rush
I cry in silence and my fingers twitch to text "Why"?
But instead, I will cry these tears and dry these tears
and smile tomorrow because this too shall pass.
You stare at the fallen in unspeakable grief, and recall the first steps, the tiny hug, the baby smell all the little details a mother knows, beneath the Terebinth tree. Oh Rizpah, the pleasure of all eyes the delight of Saul in his prime what have you become? Fighting birds of prey and jackals as they stalk the decaying flesh of your flesh... Amoni was the quiet one, Mephibosheth the witty one, who laughed even in sadness Here they lay eyes agape in unspeakable horror, hung like thieves. Saul would gather them in the small of his arms, and they, beauties to behold would giggle in delight Rizpah, your existence is that of demented reality and excruciating dream in the middle of insanity The Jackals have come again, aiming to savour the carcasses of your decaying sons, You stand weakened by hunger and sorrow, and shoo them away again. God of Israel, take thi...
Broken and beaten Fears have become life that swallow and destroy till there are no thoughts but fear and its spawn which keep me in its eternal grasp I cry to heaven for some respite and try to find the reason for this plight but I have atoned for the sins in my youth my hands are t pure oh what it would be to live and see and not slink and think and hope and slink a loop of transmuting and dying not seeing life as it passes but hoping that life stops and heals before its next punch
You pushed her away when her hands were tiny and wanted to cup your face, when her eyes sought answers and love within your eyes. you pushed her away when she needed the hugs that would shield her from the fearsome world and laughing peers she sought your hands to hold her and tell her all was well, you were never found you told her her younger ones were prettier and better, so she became anxious and sought solace in peers and moved rootlessly, like a nomadic fulani during the rainy season. She never knew your hugs, just your beatings she never saw you smile, just your mockery she sought for mothers in strangers and fathers in lovers but they all failed she fought to live and won and now you want to hug her and she recoils now you want to talk and she shuts herself from you now you want the woman after killing the girl She will always be the little lost girl, all alone, trying to find her way in the scary world
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