Finding my soul

 I lost you years ago

Amid the tears of my youth 

And the worry of my youth

I search for you amidst unfriendly eyes

And decaying hearts

Where will you be found

Oh tortured one who longed for a dream

And was gifted horrors of despair 

When did you flee?

Was it at ten, wandering unmothered

Looking for solace in friends

Was it in the eyes of lovers 

With their lust  mistaken for shelter 

Oh you would not be found 

because I cannot bear to face the places you have been

Beaten hidden left distraught and destroyed

But like the doomed I fight to find you, you shattered thing

In the layers of painful days that stretch like the Agadez

In the middle of half-slept nights riddled with horror and pain

Oh you poor shattered thing

Oh heaven gracious heaven

Full of  promises 

Finally of silence

You hang in judgement over my pain

Used to your absence full of your wrath

I look up to you wretched despair 

I find traces of you in places of pain

I find signs of you in the Mamuna hunters song

I find some of you in my children's eyes

My soul, I seek to call you home

O

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